Now don't get me wrong, I love children, I love their innocence, I love their creativity... but there's this little breaking point when those little rascals grow horns and tails.
Ladies and gentlemen, in the past week, I've been bitten, kicked, slapped, got my ear pulled, my shirt slobbered on and ran a block in very uncomfortable shoes, now you might assume I have kids, wrong! The kids in this post are my 2 nephews -I'm 21 remember?- One is just starting his terrible 2 and the other is starting the "why?" age, both will drive any sane person mad.
I'll give you an example of what I was going through today:
" 'Twas a dark dark night, the moon shone vividly over the bayou, a black leather studded carriage strolled calmly through the forest, nothing but the sound of the wind, the water and the sighs of a slumbering maiden. With a thundering cry and a sudden jolt she woke up to site of 2 thieves hijacking the carriage, they swiftly clamped her mouth and muffled her desperate cries for helps and...."
Ok this is probably a little too melodramatic -go figure- what really happened is after hearing the kids jump and play in the car for 40 minutes having this conversation:
O: "we're going hoooome"
O: "Don't repeat what I say!"
O: "Stop it"
O: "moooom he's repeating me!"
O: "moooom he's laughing at me"
.... and it goes on for another half an hour, unfortunately I didn't have my ipod with me and somehow was stuck in the middle, so what a girl to do? sleep, right?... wrong!
I tried sleeping, 5 minutes after I dose off it goes very very very quite and I wake up with the elder's hand clamping my nose and the little ones hands practically inside my mouth -I'm secretly convinced it's revenge for not letting them have ice cream with dinner, they get freakishly hyper- and the whole car bursting in laughter over their ingenious method of waking me up...
I honestly can't wait to have kids of my own, but in the past few weeks I've realized how much of a handful they can really be, from stubbornness to moodiness to "mommy I think I made an accident", and the idea of starting pediatric medicine next year scares me a little bit, I adore them, but I'm not sure if I can tolerate ones I don't share DNA with, I seriously can predict one of 2 situations happening:
A) I'll be the very sweet doctor who they'll weasel themselves out of her hands with a hug
B) I'll be the b*tch that makes them pee their pants when they see my face
Which one will it be? Well, I guess we'll have to wait and see...
Off the record:
What's the worst thing a child can do to tick you off?