Thursday, July 29, 2010

Wake me up before you Go Go!

Now if you're clicking thinking this post is about Wham, I suggest you click that "return" button right now, it won't take long... I can wait.

For those of you who actually wanna know what this is about, it's about something I would like to call, "the fire alarm curse".

You see, for over 15 years my family and I suffered the same thing every Summer; no matter WHERE we stay in, the fire alarm HAS to go on and it's NEVER ok to just wait it out, you have to evacuate being it real, a false alarm or even a system malfunction as they call it.

My Summer 2010 is about 10 days away from ending and I was hoping to break the damned curse! But I guess that's not happening cause tonight at exactly 1:06 the familiar haunting sound of sirens and flashing lights -if you close your eyes tight enough you'll think you're in a KISS concert- went off once again.

Here's the problem, being fooled by the same thing for over 15 years you lose the will to listen to the sirens any more, you're pretty much sure it's nothing, so getting people out of bed was kind of the hardest part.

Me: alarm's on, you think it's fake?
"Plural -pretty sleepy- yes"
Me: are we gonna go downstairs?
Dad: call the reception, check if something's up and that they're not running a test
Me: why do I have to do it?
Mom: you're the only one whose out of bed

---- I call the reception and they say they have no idea what's going on in our building and they're sending a security team to check it out----

Me: we have to evacuate
Bro: you guys go ahead, I'll sleep *mind you the alarm is still on*
Mom: you're coming with us
Sis: should I change?
Mom: what you're wearing is fine we'll be back up in a few minutes
Sis: should I wake my son? *the fact he didn't wake up in the first place still amazes me*
Mom: just carry him and we'll get going

So we go down 3 flights of stairs and my sis goes off cradling her son back to sleep -he got a little startled while she was going down the stairs- and mom goes into a little hysteric moment when she sees the fire engines coming with my brother still upstairs, she asks me to call him... yes the only thing I took down with me was not the room key but my blackberry, go figure. So, I call him and I kept getting rejected until I see him coming down the stairs with the car key in his hand where we spend the next half hour.

My thoughts in those 30 minutes? Please read on:

1- I like her pajamas
2- Dude, put on a shirt
3- Bunny slippers!!
4- Someone can actually pull off the bed head look and look decent, congratulations
5- Why in the world are you wearing a swimming suit at 1 am? You're going for a midnight dip in the lake by the golf course?!
6- The only thing you managed to save in case of a fire was your Goofy hat?

Yes I know, I seem very shallow, but experience taught me you don't go down in an emergency unless you're fully dressed and you look half decent, vanity comes first I guess? I took the time to find a hair tie, my shoes, unwrap a newly bought fleece robe, took a bottle of water and went down stairs... yes pretty ignorant you may say, I call it tolerance.

I have been through hurricane alarms, fire alarms, flood alarms...etc, and for some reason it seems that these situations lost their edge, I would probably be TOO calm.

So back to the story, at about 1:33 everything was clearing out, one of the firemen told us that it was s "system malfunction" a.k.a some kids set off the alarm.

Note to parents: your kids should be sound asleep by 1:00 am, let alone be INSIDE your apartment, not running around the building, you want me to call the CPS on your asses on claims of neglect? That'll teach you to lock your kids in!

So, the setting is all cleared up and people are filing up the stairs and the damned thing goes off again! This is when I suspected it'll be a long long night.... Thankfully though, it didn't go off for the third time or seriously someone would've been hurt, mess with a girl but not with her beauty sleep, mmkay?

So I guess I'm doomed to alarms, do I think it'll stop? No, does it bother me? Meh, it kinda grown on me, I don't mind anymore...

Off the Record: What's the worst experience you've had with a fire alarm?

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Kids, children, bambionos ....Oh boy

Someone once said, "You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance", and they could not have been more accurate! I just came back from a ride to Hell and back with a 6 year old and a 2 year old -both I love dearly, but this was just too much.

Now don't get me wrong, I love children, I love their innocence, I love their creativity... but there's this little breaking point when those little rascals grow horns and tails.

Ladies and gentlemen, in the past week, I've been bitten, kicked, slapped, got my ear pulled, my shirt slobbered on and ran a block in very uncomfortable shoes, now you might assume I have kids, wrong! The kids in this post are my 2 nephews -I'm 21 remember?- One is just starting his terrible 2 and the other is starting the "why?" age, both will drive any sane person mad.

I'll give you an example of what I was going through today:

" 'Twas a dark dark night, the moon shone vividly over the bayou, a black leather studded carriage strolled calmly through the forest, nothing but the sound of the wind, the water and the sighs of a slumbering maiden. With a thundering cry and a sudden jolt she woke up to site of 2 thieves hijacking the carriage, they swiftly clamped her mouth and muffled her desperate cries for helps and...."

Ok this is probably a little too melodramatic -go figure- what really happened is after hearing the kids jump and play in the car for 40 minutes having this conversation:

O: "we're going hoooome"
H: "Ooome!"
O: "Don't repeat what I say!"
H: "yaaaay"
O: "Stop it"
H: "ithhh"
O: "mooooom"
H: "maaaaamaaaaa"
O: "moooom he's repeating me!"
H: *laughing*
O: "moooom he's laughing at me"

.... and it goes on for another half an hour, unfortunately I didn't have my ipod with me and somehow was stuck in the middle, so what a girl to do? sleep, right?... wrong!

I tried sleeping, 5 minutes after I dose off it goes very very very quite and I wake up with the elder's hand clamping my nose and the little ones hands practically inside my mouth -I'm secretly convinced it's revenge for not letting them have ice cream with dinner, they get freakishly hyper- and the whole car bursting in laughter over their ingenious method of waking me up...

I honestly can't wait to have kids of my own, but in the past few weeks I've realized how much of a handful they can really be, from stubbornness to moodiness to "mommy I think I made an accident", and the idea of starting pediatric medicine next year scares me a little bit, I adore them, but I'm not sure if I can tolerate ones I don't share DNA with, I seriously can predict one of 2 situations happening:

A) I'll be the very sweet doctor who they'll weasel themselves out of her hands with a hug

B) I'll be the b*tch that makes them pee their pants when they see my face

Which one will it be? Well, I guess we'll have to wait and see...

Off the record:

What's the worst thing a child can do to tick you off?